Should You Buy A Memorial Bonsai Tree?

Buying a bonsai as a memorial is something that is becoming more popular.

While it can be a good idea, and is certainly a very lovely way to honour someone you have lost, I think there are much better options and better ways to remember someone.

What Is A Memorial Bonsai Tree?

The concept is rather simple. After a loved one has passed away you buy a bonsai in their honour and grow it and enjoy it.

Every time you look at the tree you will be reminded of them.

This is slightly different from a legacy tree, which is an inherited tree. This type of tree was owned by your loved one and you then take over caring for the tree once they are gone.

Is A Memorial Bonsai Tree A Good Idea?

Honestly, no. I don’t think it’s a good idea to have a memorial bonsai.

I think they are too risky. Bonsai trees may look beautiful, but they need a lot of work and care and they can die very easily, especially if you are a beginner and it’s your first tree.

For me the risk of something going wrong is too high, and you don’t want anything bad happening to something that is supposed to have a lot of significance and memories attached to it.

Even if you are a seasoned grower I still think having so much emotional attachment to something as fragile as a bonsai is a bad idea.

I really think that it would be too emotionally damaging when your “memory” dies because you forgot to water it one day.

Bonsai trees can be a real burden at times and I think adding that emotional layer on top is just too much. They are significantly more work than a house plant.   

Giving Them As A Gift?

If I think it is a bad idea for you to get one, you shouldn’t be surprised that I think it’s an even worse idea to bestow this responsibility on to someone else as a gift.

It is bad enough they are grieving without now having to take on the lifelong responsibility of a tree they didn’t ask for, or may have no idea how to care for.  

It will just end in tears. Don’t buy someone a memorial bonsai tree.

Why It’s A Problem To Buy A Memorial Bonsai Tree

I will go through some of the reason why I think they are just not an ideal thing to get in this situation:

Fear Will Get In the Way

Even if you know what you are doing, you are going to be struck by fear.

You will know that the tree is fragile and you will know its importance to you, which will cause you to be scared. You will be scared to wreck the tree.

This is totally understandable, but at the same time it is not ideal for the tree.

You may also find that the trees health suffers, as you are not willing to take certain actions that are actually going to be better for it. This fear is going to cause you to be too cautious and maybe not prune a certain branch, or repot so aggressively, which is actually what the tree might need sometimes.

Overall you are just going to struggle to make decisions and the progression of your tree is going to be much slower.

Its A Lifelong Commitment

Growing a bonsai is long term job. They can outlive you. While this is amazing, it is quite the burden to put on yourself, it’s not like a house plan that sits there and you water it once a week.

While I grow bonsai, if I had to give it up, I could. I would sell all my trees and move on (hopefully this doesn’t have to happen).

If you have associated your tree with a loved one, it is going to be extremely hard to walk away from the tree. This means you are now tied to it until one of you dies, which is a pretty big commitment.

It’s certainly not impossible, but I think it’s worth thinking about before you go and get one.       

What If You Already Have One?

Well, you just need to accept that it’s like any other tree and things can happen to it. It is no reflection on your loved one or your memory of them if anything happens to it.  

If you already have one I would just try and treat it like the rest of your trees. I think it’s okay to think if it is slightly special, but you shouldn’t let the tree become too precious.

This is of course easier said than done. I have a few trees that I grew from seeds. The seeds were given to me by a loved one who has since passed away, so they are now some sort of legacy memorial trees.

I try and treat them like any other tree I have, but there is always a little voice at the back of my head saying I need to make sure nothing bad happens to them as they are a bit more precious to me.

Having this type of attachment to a tree can be nice, but it’s also a little stressful at times.    

What Should You Do Instead Of A Memorial Bonsai?

Really anything is going to be better than a bonsai. You really want something that isn’t going to be so fragile and need so much care.

A Full Size Tree

The easy alternative is to just grow a tree in the ground. It doesn’t require any care then and is also much more likely to thrive.

Although, these can still die or at least give you trouble. I had this happen myself and it caused some family uproar. Basically my grandmother had her ashes buried and a tree was planted on top (at a local cemetery).

However, it blew over in a storm and had to be replaced. This was after like 15 years and it still upset my mother. Just imagine how upset you would be if you bonsai died after a few months!

A Viewing Stone

Viewing stones (also called suiseki ) are very popular in Japan. They are just stones that remind you of a place, such a mountain range. This is usually because the stones look like the mountains, but you could also just have a stone that you like the look or, or that is from some particular place.

I don’t think they are used in memorials, but you could easily get a stone from somewhere your love one liked to be and keep it.

Then every time you look at it, you will be reminded of them at that place, and of course, it needs zero care and can’t die so its less stressful to own.

A Wire Tree

You could also buy a wire tree. They look like bonsai, but are made from wire. They can look really good. They are also small and do not need any care, which is ideal.

Of course they don’t grow or change, but they are still cool and can be a nice reminder of your loved one.

A Picture or Painting

You could get a picture or a painting of a tree they loved, or some sort of forest they liked. Really anything nature based would be cool.

I know it’s not as good as a real tree, but you can look at it every now again and again and be reminded of your loved one and how they enjoyed this type of tree or place.

Again this type of memorial is going to have zero care and give you zero problems which what you need when it has strong emotional attachments. 

Conclusion

Losing a loved one hurts and wanting to remember them in some way is of course a good thing to do. I just think doing this through a bonsai is not ideal. I feel it can too easily end badly, and no one wants further heartache and pain.

I think you are much better off sticking with something that does not require any care, it is much less likely to upset you and you can enjoy it for much longer.